


Salty Nuts

by gay_crocodile



Category: Facebook - Fandom, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Don't Read This, Forgive Me, Ned and Harmony OTP, Other, This is crack, Why did this happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 09:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7839466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gay_crocodile/pseuds/gay_crocodile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ned and Hiyoko find millions of mistletoes around them, leading them to kiss forever.<br/>###<br/>Based off of a weird comment on FaceBook which has around 60 replies because Ned and Harmony are writing a story and I am joining.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Salty Nuts

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me for my sins. This is Ned and Harmony's fault. I cannot be held responsible for this piece of trash.

Ned and Hiyoko find millions of mistletoes around them, leading them to kiss forever. 

Harmony Granger says, “time to go to jail.”

“F-for what?” Ned asks, Hiyoko long gone.

“Hiyoko is under the age of consent,” Harmony replies, “maybe.”

Confused, Ned asks, “Isn’t Hiyoko 15 during Zetsubou-hen? I’m 14 .-.”

Harmony smiles and says, “I’m corrupt,” and continues, “Hiyoko said she’s 8 so you must go to jail now.” Hiyoko never said that.

“Y-you can nevah take me alive!” Ned flies away with the power of fart that smells like despair waffles.

With Hiyoko power, Harmony throws Hiyoko at Ned. “There, got you,” she says.

But she didn’t get Ned. Ned throws Hiyoko back at Harmony and flies to the end of the universe. Unfortunately, Ned forgets to wear a space helmet, and dies from lack of oxygen.

It was a painful death, Ned deserved it.

Ned respawns like some MLG pro who wins at life. “Oh.”

Harmony kills Ned in a way that prevents Ned from surviving or respawning.

hOW, you ask? Nobody knows.

Ned gets reborn as another character that no one knows. He’s probably Kanan from Love Live! Sunshine, but with a dick. “W-where am I..? Who am I..?” He is now an idiot.

Harmony walks away forever.

-10 years down the road-

The mysterious boy becomes the SHSL Hobo, who has no friends, no family, and makes money by playing a banjo that he found in a garbage bin.

As for the girl, she is still walking. Is she the new Forrest Gump or the SHSL Walker? Who knows?

The SHSL Banjo Player and former SHSL Hobo, Saul T. Nuts, gets invited to Kibougamine Gakuen. He then sees the mysterious person who walks a lot without getting tired, feeling as if he has met her before.

The girl continues walking as her mind is completely broken. She has no use in this world other than walking.

Saul T. Nuts slams his banjo at the girl for no apparent reason. “Stop,” he says, “why are you walking anyway?” 

But the girl continues to walk.

Saul T. Nuts wonders what happens if the SHSL Walker was ever tied up, so he took off his belt and grabbed the girl, tying her up to one of the legs of the bleachers that were not there before.

The SHSL Walker continues walking until the belt... breaks?

As expected from a talented student.

Saul T. Nuts was shocked at what she did, thus he immediately undid her shoelaces as she walked.

She ties up her shoelaces while walking, somehow.

The girl seems to have defied the laws of motion. Saul T. Nuts stands up and grabs her by the arms, using all his strength to prevent her from walking.

However, she just vanishes, to be seen another 10 meters away. Saul T. Nuts makes a face like Kazuichi whenever he’s creeped out (all the time) and dashes towards her, stepping on both her feet.

The girl lifts her head up slowly, it seems she has no face. She starts strangling Saul T. Nuts. Her nails dig into his neck, piercing his larynx.

Saul T. Nuts tries to do the same, but his nails were too short. He then opened his mouth and bit the SHSL Walker’s nose. Blood trickles and drips as he exerted more effort into his bite.

The girl escapes from his clutches and starts to run.

‘She ran, not walked! My work here is done,” Saul T. Nuts thinks to himself, since he cannot speak out loud due to the girl destroying his voicebox.

-The day after-

It seems as though the SHSL Walker has disappeared.

The SHSL Hobo disappeared as well.

Turns out, Saul T. Nuts died from AIDS after getting raped by Russian women visiting Japan, and the SHSL Walker-Turned-Runner died from hunger.

**Author's Note:**

> If you are reading this, Ned and Harmony, you suck. (Not really, I love you)


End file.
